MISSOURI PARK RANGERS DISCOVER REMAINS OF TWO HUNTERS INSIDE A 1200-LB BOAR

by San Eli News

Park rangers of the Missouri Department of Natural Resources had a morbid surprise after killing an especially large and aggressive boar roaming in a residential neighborhood of Kansas City: they found torn clothing and bones fragments from two men it the creature’s digestive system.

The rangers were called to intervene in Kansas City after a 1200-lb male boar was reported ransacking garbage bins and attacking vehicles. They were driving around looking for the hog, but it found them first and took them totally by surprise.

Emerging at great speed from behind a house, the huge boar rammed the ranger’s pickup truck, breaking several windows and pushing it off the road. The rangers had no choice but to react rapidly and shoot the massive animal 17 times while it kept trying to get to them.

The Missouri Department of Natural Resources demanded an autopsy of the animal to try to explain its unusually aggressive behavior.

A spokesman for the department, Mr. Bill Ferris, described the results of the autopsy as “disturbing but revealing” in a press conference this morning.

“The autopsy not only revealed the hog had already been shot three times a few days earlier, but that it had devoured almost entirely two adult human beings.”

Mr. Ferris says the human remains probably belonged to hunter or poachers, possibly the men who shot the animal and made it so aggressive.

“We found some .305 bullets, a sheathed hunting knife, pieces from binoculars, and other items that suggest the victims were hunters. It’s possible that they were the ones who shot it, but that it got them first.”

A spokesman for the department, Mr. Bill Ferris, says that the boar’s unusually aggressive behavior was probably caused by the fact that it had been shot three times, suffering only superficial injuries.

Boars are fairly common in Missouri and other American states and are known to be opportunistic scavengers, but this is the first time that any of them are reported eating human flesh.

This particular hog, weighting an impressive 1237 pounds is also the largest wild boar ever recorded in Missouri.

The investigation has now been transferred to the Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office to try and identify the remains.