DEAR DEIDRE: I AM reluctant to take money from my wife’s brother, who wants to pay thousands of pounds towards my daughter’s university fees.
Her family are selfish and manipulative. There are always strings attached. If they offer us anything, it feels like they have power over me.
Her brother told my wife our oldest daughter is special because she is so intelligent – but must keep the money a secret from her two sisters, as he won’t be doing the same for them.
I stopped accepting gifts from my wife’s family some time ago because I didn’t want to feel I owed them anything.
If I tell my wife how I feel she will blow her top and tell me I’m bitter and paranoid. She doesn’t see them as I do.
I’m 52 and my wife is 48.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I understand your reluctance. The fact he wants to keep the truth from your other children sets alarm bells ringing. Secrets in families can be hugely damaging.
But ask yourself if it is your own pride making you reject his offer out of hand.
Talk to your wife and say you are concerned the unequal treatment might affect relationships between your children.
Suggest she thanks her brother for his generous offer but makes it clear you will only accept if the funds are shared equally between your children.
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