Connect with us

Life

S.C. Mayor Says She Became Victim of Revenge Porn After Ending Relationship with Man

Published

on


The first female mayor of a South Carolina city is speaking out about being the victim of “revenge porn” in hopes of creating a law to stop it.

On Thursday, Belton Mayor Tiffany Ownbey revealed she was an alleged victim of “revenge porn,” according to a statement released by her attorney, Druanne White.

You’ll get the latest updates on this topic in your browser notifications.

Several years ago, the statement claims, Ownbey was in a relationship with a man who allegedly secretly videotaped a private encounter on his cell phone without her consent. The man allegedly later admitted to Ownbey about recording the video and threatened to release it publicly if she broke up with him. According to the statement, Ownbey told the man she would press charges if he released the clip — and the pair didn’t speak again for years.

But shortly after Ownbey was elected mayor late last year, she began to hear rumors that the video might be released. Ownbey immediately requested an investigation by the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division. She knew an investigation “would subject her to a great deal of adverse publicity” but she “refused to tacitly condone the man’s repugnant behavior by staying silent,” White says in the statement.

“She realized that, as a female leader, she had to stand firm against this kind of conduct that other females would see her example and fight back,” White says.

The video was released, and while Ownbey was victim-shamed, she was determined to not back down.

“Tiffany will continue to lead the fight against predatory sexual behavior. It is 2020. She wants to make sure that there are adverse consequences for those who secretly record a sexual interlude and then use it as revenge porn. She does not want other women to be victimized in this manner,” the statement reads.

Forty-six states currently have laws against revenge porn, but South Carolina is not one of them, according to the nonprofit Cyber Civil Rights Initiative.

Ownbey wants to change that.

“It is time for South Carolina to enact a legislation to protect women from this kind of sexual predatory behavior,” White says. “Tiffany plans to lead the change.”

Want to keep up with the latest crime coverage? Sign up for PEOPLE’s free True Crime newsletter for breaking crime news, ongoing trial coverage and details of intriguing unsolved cases.

SLED has since launched an investigation into the video after a request from the Belton Police Department, according to the Greenville News.

“This is a start!!!!!! Let’s go. ANYONE could be a victim of this regardless of the circumstance! Get this into law to protect others,” Ownbey wrote on Facebook following news of the investigation. “People can bash me all they want but this could happen to anyone’s daughter and probably is happening as we speak. What are you going to do when YOUR daughter is a victim and there is no law to protect her? Regardless of whether you like me or not this is NOT right.”

No arrests have been made and no suspects named.

On Thursday morning, Ownbey posted on Facebook, “I would like to remind you all that I am STILL the Mayor of Belton SC but I am also the mother of young children. That being said, I would encourage you to please show my family as well as my children the respect and privacy that you would seek at this time! God bless you all!”

Continue Reading

Life

What Is The Ick? Heres What To Do When Sparks (Donu2019t) Fly

Published

on

Picture it: You’re on a romantic date with your S.O.—candlelit table, bouquet of roses, chocolate-covered strawberries. It should feel like the climax of your favorite rom-com, but it just feels…wrong. Suddenly, you cringe at your partner’s touch. Their sexual allure dissipates. The mere thought of romance existing between you? Ew. You hate the way they do, well, anything (they breathed? unforgivable), and their personality is a huge turn-off. Little quirks that never bothered you before, like how they slurp their drink, pick the raisins from their salad, or drone on about their record collection, are now intolerable. No doubt about it: You’ve got The Ick.

Phrase sound familiar? That’s probably because a Sex and the City episode titled “The Ick Factor” popularized it years ago. More recently, “The Ick” resurfaced on British Love Island season six when (spoiler alert!) Leanne out-of-the-blue dumped Mike. Interest is surging—which is why The Ick needs an unpacking, like, yesterday.

Okay, so… what exactly is ‘The Ick’?

“When you have a crush, your body and mind become excited and feed off each other,” says WH advisor Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York. “We call that a psychosomatic reaction.” The Ick sparks a similar response but results in the opposite symptoms. “It’s like a sense of repulsion. You’ll notice a sudden absence of arousal that you used to feel about someone,” she explains. When they kiss your neck, it feels like a grotesque slug sliming down to your clavicle. Their make-out technique hasn’t changed—your perception of it has.

You shouldn’t want to social distance from your S.O.

How can you tell when you’ve caught The Ick?

Like the way you’re grossed out by the smell of rotten food, your body may be sending a message when you feel The Ick, says Carmichael. “It’s healthy to have a revulsion toward what’s not good for us.” Think of it as a defense mechanism, making you realize this person is toxic or, at least, signaling that something is off. (But it’s not the only Ick inducer—more on that later.) While the relationship may not be categorically harmful—you’re just fed up with your spouse’s chewing— it’s helpful to explore why your body is urging you to flee. Be honest with yourself to get clarity.

Should you stick it out or run for the hills?

A quick PSA: Just because you have The Ick doesn’t mean you have to jump ‘ship right away. (Get it?) Before hopping in the life raft, check out these expert-approved next steps.

First of all, ask yourself: Is it just the novelty fading? New couples often take part in what Carmichael calls “relationship bingeing.” Translation: You’re so excited about a new partner that you end up spending all your free time with them. But when you’re around someone 24/7 (no matter how long you’ve been married!), it’s only natural to want alone time, says Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in Honolulu. Do a solo activity to decompress, then reevaluate your icky feelings, she suggests.

Okay, but what if it’s more about you, not them? For real. Feeling ugh about getting intimate could signal unresolved emotions around your ability to give and receive love, Brito says. Affectionate, private moments are necessary to relationships, and if you can’t deal, you may have some internal work to do before jumping into dating or rekindling the spark in your long-term partnership. Working with a therapist or discussing issues with your S.O. can help.

Reignite real romance by forgoing fairy-tale ideals.

What do you do if it’s really not you, it’s them?

Sometimes there’s just no work-through-it fix that can adequately address the problem. If you repeatedly feel The Ick around someone more often than feelings of arousal, love, or joy (like, their perceived yuckiness is as much a part of your routine as your a.m. workout), it’s likely time to go in a different dating direction, says Brito. No need to reveal your repulsion; just (kindly) say your feelings have changed—period. Married, with little ones involved? Use these dire-straits vibes as final motivation to get help and truly explore what’s going on.

How to Ick-proof your relationship, like, right now:

Attraction has its normal ebbs and flows, but consider these must-dos your new Ick repellents. (Phew!)

Source: Read Full Article

Continue Reading

Life

Jana Kramer says she was physically abused in past relationships

Published

on

More On:

jana kramer

Jana Kramer and Jay Cutler had ‘awkward’ run-in with her ex Mike Caussin

Jana Kramer and Jay Cutler pictured together for first time

Jay Cutler takes Jana Kramer on date to make Kristin Cavallari ‘jealous’

Jana Kramer gets tattoo of her kids’ names amid Mike Caussin divorce

Jana Kramer wrote in a candid social media post that she was physically and emotionally abused in past relationships.

While promoting her new song, “Voices,” the “One Tree Hill” alum said she has been working on “healing” her struggling mental health.

“The voices in my head…I’ve been mentally physically and emotionally abused in past relationships,” Kramer wrote in a caption next to photos of herself on Instagram holding a sign that read, “I’m not broken, I AM enough.”

She continued, “I allowed certain behaviors to continue on because I actually believed the negative voices in my head that were spoken to me.”

Kramer did not name her alleged abusers but provided examples of the gaslighting she experienced.

“‘I barely pushed you, don’t be so dramatic’…’you bruise easily , I hardly touched you, you’re crazy,’” she recalled in her caption.

The country singer, who recently went on a date with Jay Cutler, said “all the words” and “abuse” convinced her she wasn’t “enough” and “not worthy of love.”

“For years I’ve repeated patterns, fallen into the trap of believing those voices, hurting myself and hurting others because of my desire to be chosen, to be enough,” Kramer continued. “And I’ve fallen for the same abuse in a relationship because it’s what I thought I deserved.

“My healing…your healing…our healing is to stop those negative voices. Now is the time to grow, learn, HEAL, and love ourselves. We are enough. You are enough. I am enough.”

Kramer’s message comes just a few months after she finalized her divorce from ex-husband Mike Caussin, with whom she shares two children, after she accused him of adultery in their marriage.

Sources told Page Six at the time that Kramer filed for divorce because the former NFL player had cheated on her again.

The “I Got the Boy” songstress was first married to Michael Gambino, who was convicted of attempted murder after he strangled Kramer into unconsciousness. He was released in 2010 and died by suicide two years later.

She then married “That Thing You Do” star Johnathon Schaech in 2010 but split after 12 days and finalized their divorce in 2011.

In April 2021, Schaech randomly posted a photo from their wedding day on Twitter and started to speak poorly of their time together.

“I ended up texting John because he started to continue commenting about how it was a horrible day and nothing was real about it,” she later said. “And I’m like, can you be nice and not say mean things about me on Twitter?”

Share this article:

Source: Read Full Article

Continue Reading

Life

A colleague’s marriage problems are affecting his work. What can I do?

Published

on

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on the workplace, career and leadership in her advice column “Got a minute?” This week, supporting a colleague struggling with personal issues, being asked to undergo a 360-degree review, and dealing with being sacked from a contract role.

Illustration by Dionne Gain.Credit:

I think a guy I work with is having problems in his marriage and it is impacting his work. He seems to forget things, is late to meetings and just seems a bit down. He isn’t someone who likes to talk about his personal life, but he did say, just once, that things were not great at home. I would like to be able to support him but don’t know how. What can I do?

You are obviously an empathetic colleague to have noticed what is going on for him and I am sure he would be grateful to know you care. However, there is also a fine line between offering a coworker support and being a nosy parker.

I don’t know how close your relationship with your colleague is but if there is a high level of mutual trust and respect, you might just want to open the door by saying something like, “There is so much going on for everyone at the moment. I just wanted to check how you are travelling and is there anything I can do to support you?” That is a very open question without any judgement on what you have noticed. If he doesn’t offer much back or simply says all is fine, I think you need to respect that and be reassured that he knows you are there if he wants to reach out.

My boss wants me to do a 360-degree review (a process that involves getting feedback from managers, coworkers and direct reports) for my own development. But I’m really suspicious and think it is just something they want to do so they can move me out of the business. Do I have to agree to doing one? And if I agree, how can I be sure the results won’t cause me to lose my job?

Hear me out since there is a bit to deal with in your question. First up, a 360-degree review is a really valuable tool that will help you in your own professional development and will offer you a lot of insight into how others perceive you. I’m a real fan of these reviews and actually use them a lot in my executive coaching work.

But – and it is a massive “but” – they can only be used well when there is already a foundation of trust and a level of psychological safety in your organisation. The fact you have fears that your boss will use the results to have you exit the business tells me that the trust is not there and so the entire reason for doing a 360-degree review is undermined.

My advice is that before you tell your boss you don’t want to do it, try to talk with them (or someone at work you trust) about your broader concerns. I think you need to deal with that first and once you are reassured that the review is purely intended to help you develop, then you might want to think about whether you give it a go and learn from the insights it might bring.

An aged care facility recently sacked me after I gave eight years of loyal service. I’m a health professional, and I consulted on a contract basis. I recently increased my fees for only the second time ever and was notified shortly after that my service had been cancelled. I was fired over email. Despite numerous attempts to speak to management, no one has had the decency to return my calls or emails. I’m bitterly disappointed and I can’t shake it off. Should I let it go or keep trying to get an answer?

Let it go. You deserve so much better. What an appalling response from any employer, let alone from within an industry where we know there are chronic staff shortages. Contractors are entitled to increase their rates and should not be penalised for doing so. The fact that the organisation has not even had the decency to respond to your attempts to speak with them reflects only on them and their poor culture. I only hope that you are now able to find a role with a new employer who values you and what you bring to them. I would also plan on making sure that an annual review of your rates is built into any new contract you arrange so that this does not happen again.

Send your questions about work, careers and leadership to [email protected] Your name and any identifying information will not be used. Letters may be edited.

Dr Kirstin Ferguson is an award-winning leader, author, executive coach and public speaker; she is the former deputy chair of the ABC. You can connect with Kirstin at kirstinferguson.com or on Twitter @kirstinferguson and LinkedIn @kirstinferguson.

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.

Most Viewed in Lifestyle

From our partners

Source: Read Full Article

Continue Reading

Trending